I saw him first…….when I was a child.
He looked like me…….but was not me. He was.......well.......different. Or was he?
I have seen him grow.......with my own eyes. Yet I find that he has not grown up at all. There is a lot in him that I can identify with…….yet, there is more that I just cannot. Over the years I have tried to understand him…….I dare say now that I know him better than I know myself.
But there is a side to him which is beyond comprehension. Moral values, social obligations, virtues of life – these are stuff that guide a man’s life…….but he is devoid of them. Somehow ‘change’ has bypassed him.
There is so much about him that I do not like…….Indeed, some of his traits are abhorrent. Oh! How I wish he would not be the way he is.
He never speaks up for himself…….let alone for others. He was taught not to…….for fear of being ostracized…….by his loved ones, his peers, and his society.
He never stands out in a crowd…….rather he prefers to be just one among them. He accepts safety in numbers.
He always flows with the tide than against it…….something akin to letting the crowd push you into the compartment of a Mumbai local…….rather than finding your way through them.
I can never term him a ‘non-conformist’…….after all, it takes courage to speak out, to grow against the grain. Simply put…….he is a coward and doesn’t mind being one…….for he knows well.......that Cowardice is a way of life filled with comfort and convenience. Courage on the other hand requires conscience.
Conscience.
Something he has buried long ago in the recesses of his mind and forgotten. It is a wasted virtue for him.
He fools himself into believing that everything is just fine…….when they are actually not.
He does not confront life…….he chooses to look away. When he does look at the world…….he prefers to do so thru rose-tinted glasses.
The fool that he is…….he doesn’t realize that rose-tinted glasses show only one colour…….No, it is not the colour Pink…….it is the colour of Blindness.
Doesn’t he know? –
That which he does not want to see, still is;
that which he does not want to hear, still speaks; and
that which he does not want to know, still exists.
Speak no evil, See no evil, Hear no evil…….a motto I was taught in childhood. He lives by another – ‘Speak no……., See no…...., Hear no…….!
And it doesn’t end there.
The games he plays are all so wrong. I think Eric Berne, the psychiatrist, must have had him in mind when he wrote the book ‘The Games people Play’.
Take a classic example…….The blame game…….an art perfected by him.
He finds faults in others…….that are just a reflection of his own.
He criticizes other people for their beliefs and deeds…….which are actually the same as his.
Lies, malice, mischief…….just to show that he is better than his neighbour.
I have always wondered why he is the way he is.
Who is he fooling? Definitely not the others…….it has to be himself.
How can he condone his actions…….and condemn others’?
His world is no different from yours or mine. How can he be critical of you…….and smug about himself?
This world is definitely not for these types. The meek shall never inherit the earth. One only has to look around…….and learn about survival. Darwin stated it oh-so-clearly…….only the ‘fittest’ shall come through.
When will he learn to take a stand…….and not hide behind words?
When will he fire the musket and take the recoil on his shoulders…….and not on someone else’s?
When will he learn to accept his mistakes?
Nobody is perfect…….Neither he, nor I.
When will he learn that he is not God? Even God was not infallible…….he made this man…….didn’t he? And he is not alone…….there are many like him.
I see this man everyday.
Every day I look into the mirror…….the face that stares back at me looks more and more like the person whom I never wanted to be.
I am the Man in the Mirror.
I, Hypocrite.
